Friday, October 10, 2008

Friday Top 10: Worst Trick-or-Treat items to receive

1 - Necco wafers

2 - Bible tracts denouncing Halloween as Satanic (just turn off your porch light and don't participate, folks; it's 2008, not 1308, after all)

3 - Good and Plenty

4 - Home-baked cookies (it's 2008; there's no way parents will let their kids eat these unless they know the baker personally)

5 - Pixie stix (they're good, but they're useless when wet)

6 - Those little wax bottles with weird juice in the middle

7 - Bit-o-Honey

8 - Oh Henry!

9 - Bite-sized candy bars (is it too much to expect the real thing?)

10 - Fruit of any kind (come on...what kid wants fruit when there's so much candy around?)


11 - Circus peanuts

12 - Raisins

13 - Anything coconut


Charlotte said...

Great list, Keith! I always give out full-sized candy bars, but then again, we don't get many kids. When my kids would come home and sort through their candy, I would end up with a lot of candy from that list... some of it I like, but there was some that ended up in the trash. Now my kids are too old to trick-or-treat...sigh. No extra candy for me this year.

Jackie said...

what's wrong with necco wafers? when I was a kid they were my favorite (except for the brown ones!)

Jeff Vanderhoff said...

I agree with most, but I LOVE Bit O Honey and I'll take the bite size candy bars over the other stuff on your list any day. As long as it's chocolate! I'd add circus peanuts to the top of the list, though, I hate those things!

Jeff Vanderhoff said...

I'd also add popcorn balls to the list.

Unknown said...

I would put Bible tracts as #1 and just the thought of those wax wax bottle things brings back horrendous memories from my childhood that have only survived in my nightmares. Thanks for bringing that memory back Keith... now I will have to start seeing my therapist again.

Eric Park said...

I enjoyed your list, brother, but I feel compelled to speak up in defense of the simple snackable beauty of both "Good and Plenty" and "Bit o Honey."

As a fan of black licorice, "Good and Plenty" is a party in my mouth!

And how can I not appreciate a candy that has claimed as many of my dental fillings as "Bit o Honey?!"

By the way, concerning the little wax bottles, I think I was about fourteen before I realized that one was not supposed to eat the wax that contained the juice. That might explain a few things, eh?

Oh, and one more thing: In honor of your list, I am thinking of using Necco wafers for Communion during tonight's worship. After all, I think they've been around since the Last Supper!

Anonymous said...

This is too funny and oh, so true!! I feel compelled to comment on the circus peanuts, though. They need moved into a tie for #1 with the Necco wafers. We used to open a bag in college on our sorority floor, wait until they hardened, and then play baseball in the dorm with them. They do make quite the shatter. I mean who eats those things anyway -especially to necessitate a whole industry built around them?!

Kevin A. McIlwain said...

Necco wafers rock. Please replace them with the Zagnut bar, worst candy ever.

Greg Cox said...

Worst ever - Mallo Cups! And whoever invented the "fun size" candy bar should be tried for sedition hanged for insurrection.